Pure Form
Pure Forms are mutant bastards who pinch people like it was their job. They are the result of a major pwnage back in the hula hoop games. There are three kinds of these guys, much to our chagrin; the big shit Tanks are mutant results of the rancor that love to scoop up poop. They eat the shit and spit it out as popcorn. They used to rule the galaxy, but they were blown apart by the Gruntiness, so the survivors ran and hid on Hula Hoop 04. They met the Gravemind there and joined him and his AIDS army to pwn the n00bs. But 2 years later, the purels were joined by the traitor prophet Adolf Hitler who led them. But Hitler betrayed them later and began to kill millions of purels with "THE SPUNK." It seemed the purels were doomed until God appeared and pwnd Hitler. God gave the tankers the power of Zull so they could transform! The Tankers had a really cool time turning into tampons and celebrities and Dr. Phil until they found they could turn into the Ubers. 5 Minute Useless Battle A year later the AIDS had turned the covie cruiser Juicy Turkey into a piece of shit and headed to Earth so the Ubers could stop the testicle chins from doing the hula hoops. They arrived late cause Gravemind took so much time ordering at Orbit King. The covies left Africa already in a big anus in the sky. Because of their bad grade in drivers ed the purels crashed into the city of Voi. Fearing a terrorist attack, the pastor queef led a troop of boobs to the crash site and were pwnd by the Ubers and AIDS. With this embarassment the muster beef and Arbiturd counterattacked with the 27 panzer division. The two of them led the tanks on two white horses and kicked down the AIDS ship's door. The anus inside were pissed. It died 3 days later. Arbiturd stayed behind to be a knave leaving the MC to sweep the ship for the computewhore. The Ubers failed this battle when a big-ass explosion from some unnamed place went off in Voi that blew up Kenya. It all lasted 5 minutes and was recorded in a book for people wondering why a whole country was now gone. After the Hula Hoop When the halo fired at the flying retard(aka hula hoop maker) the Ubers found nothing was left. The other AIDS died and the Ubers were punished by the sparkplugs(Sentinels). Only 100 Ubers were sentenced to life working in the flying tulip's ass mines, the rest executed by watching 2 girls, 1 cup over and over again untill they had a boner/heart attack/erectile disfunction/crippling phisical wounds/spontaneous combustion/nervous brake down by the sight of Cortana and Rosie O'donald getting breast implants between Halo 2 and Halo 3. As for the 100 purels in the mines, they escaped. The covie carrier Deja Vu nu penis licker smashed into the mines and a rogue Uber cock came out. He was the same dude who crashed the Juicy Turkey into Voi. He looked at his ship and yelled," My wife cut my brake fluid! She wants to kill me then rape my dead carcause". Instead he was killed by a passing sparkplug.